He rocks in the tree-top all day long

So my dad asked me this weekend to delete his Twitter account because he was getting too many weirdo groupies.

I can't even begin to count the number of things that are wrong with that sentence.

Don't want no short, short man

Reason #38 why my fiance and I are soulmates: Equally bad taste.

Earlier today, I saw an ad for "Jockeys", some horrible reality show about tiny men with Napoleon complexes airing on Animal Planet. I thought to myself, "Self, that sounds like an interesting program to watch and hate. You should look for that and tape it." I then promptly forgot about it.

A few minutes before I left for the gym this evening, my fiance returned from work, looking to kill some time before he left for an all-night poker game. We exchanged the typical pleasantries* and I left.

When I returned home, I stationed myself on the couch and clicked the "Recorded TV" button on the DVR. Two episodes of "Jockeys" were waiting for me.


* No, that's not a euphemism.

Sharp-dressed man

I just saw an older, portly gentleman with a white handlebar mustache wearing full-length train conductor overalls in our building. I realize our dress code is "business casual", but unless your business happens to be fertilizing cattle, I don't think that's really appropriate for the office.