First there were the lovable Zappa kids - Dweezil, Moon Unit, Diva. Then came Pilot Inspektor. Gwenyth named her first-born Apple, and then all hell broke loose. Now it's like a competition to see who can give their child the most "original" name, and thereby the greatest amount of emotional baggage.
Of course this phenomenon isn't entirely new; it used to just be called indecision. The late Michael Hutchence, frontman for INXS, thought 2 names simply wasn't enough, so he left his daughter the legacy of "Heavenly Hirani Tigerlilly Hutchence." And you know her little hand must get pretty tired filling out those scan-trons on standardized tests. Of course maybe the blame for this lies with her mother, Paula Yates; Paula's other daughter, fathered by singer Bob Geldof, is named - are you ready for this? - Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof.
Yeah.
After the indulgence of the 80s and 90s, celebrities got lazy and just started picking random, inanimate objects as names. Chef Jamie Oliver has two daughters: "Poppy Honey" and "Daisy Boo." Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell just announced the birth of her newborn "Bluebell Madonna." Bluebell Halliwell? You're kidding, right? Today, intellectual giant Anna Nicole Smith announced plans to name her new daughter "Cherrie Pie." Go ahead and insert your own joke here, because there are simply too many to pick just one.
Enough, people, this has to stop! It's not bad enough that most of them were born to C-list celebrities, now these kids' parents are just stepping up and doing the work for their future bullies. The upshot of this is, of course, that they can all go through group therapy together.
Just watch, in twenty years or so, they'll begin marrying one another and naming their offspring "innovative" names like Chris, Sarah, and Paul. Don't say I didn't warn you.
24 May 2006
23 May 2006
I wear my sunglesses at night
I was recently chastised by a dear reader for not updating my blog more than once a month. To remedy this egregious error, I've set a goal of blogging at least 3 times a week.
Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts.
Last night I was on the phone with a good friend who was telling me about a girl he'd begun dating. A girl who'd broken up with him roughly three times in the past 10 days. Each time, she called the next day, begging him to forgive her and give her another chance.
The reasons for these break-ups seem rational enough. For instance, one time he left song lyrics as his AIM away message, which she interpreted to be him reminiscing about his ex-girlfriend. In reality, it was just a song he liked that was playing when he left the house. Yup. Absolutely rational.
Stories like this one lead me to wonder if the Internet revolution won't be the undoing of our society. Look at Facebook and MySpace. How many people do you know who've broken up over, gotten into huge fights about, or spent hours over-analyzing something they saw on their love interest's webpage? Heck, this girl my friend dated actually yelled at him for not putting her in his "Top 8" list on MySpace. And really, how dare he? They were dating for like, a whole minute!
I imagine the people who design these sites spend considerable effort adding features that will simply manufacture drama. A "Top 8 Friends" list? what purpose does this serve, except to piss people off? An "In a relationship with [Insert Fling's Name Here]" field? You know that's only going to make the switch back to "Single" status that much more painful for someone.
We know way too much about each other nowadays. It's our own fault, some of us - we publish it freely for the world to consume. And it's handy and fun, in terms of being able to keep in touch with friends. It is, however, a little unnerving that you can meet a someone at the bar one night, and, if he's enterprising enough, the next day he will know your last boyfriend's name, your favorite breed of dog, your entire work history, and probably even your bank account numbers.
That is, if he doesn't know them already.
Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts.
Last night I was on the phone with a good friend who was telling me about a girl he'd begun dating. A girl who'd broken up with him roughly three times in the past 10 days. Each time, she called the next day, begging him to forgive her and give her another chance.
The reasons for these break-ups seem rational enough. For instance, one time he left song lyrics as his AIM away message, which she interpreted to be him reminiscing about his ex-girlfriend. In reality, it was just a song he liked that was playing when he left the house. Yup. Absolutely rational.
Stories like this one lead me to wonder if the Internet revolution won't be the undoing of our society. Look at Facebook and MySpace. How many people do you know who've broken up over, gotten into huge fights about, or spent hours over-analyzing something they saw on their love interest's webpage? Heck, this girl my friend dated actually yelled at him for not putting her in his "Top 8" list on MySpace. And really, how dare he? They were dating for like, a whole minute!
I imagine the people who design these sites spend considerable effort adding features that will simply manufacture drama. A "Top 8 Friends" list? what purpose does this serve, except to piss people off? An "In a relationship with [Insert Fling's Name Here]" field? You know that's only going to make the switch back to "Single" status that much more painful for someone.
We know way too much about each other nowadays. It's our own fault, some of us - we publish it freely for the world to consume. And it's handy and fun, in terms of being able to keep in touch with friends. It is, however, a little unnerving that you can meet a someone at the bar one night, and, if he's enterprising enough, the next day he will know your last boyfriend's name, your favorite breed of dog, your entire work history, and probably even your bank account numbers.
That is, if he doesn't know them already.
18 May 2006
Control Myself
It's that time of year again! The ACL lineup has been announced, and I, for one, am super excited to see Ben Harper, G Love, and Galactic on it again.
Now here's the part where I solicit your music knowledge to help me plan my weekend: Out here in the musically undiverse state of Texas, we haven't heard of many of these bands. Which ones are good? I plan on spending the summer investigating new music, so who should earn a spot on my agenda?
Now here's the part where I solicit your music knowledge to help me plan my weekend: Out here in the musically undiverse state of Texas, we haven't heard of many of these bands. Which ones are good? I plan on spending the summer investigating new music, so who should earn a spot on my agenda?
10 May 2006
Machine Head
So I realize it's been a while since my last post, and I promise I'm going to step it up a bit. For the last week I've been playing along with the Lost Experience, which is a sickness and must be stopped. If you don't know what the Lost Experience is, it's probably better for the both of us that I don't explain. The long and short of it is that I am a nerd.
In other news, I haven't had a day off of work since last Monday, and I've averaged something like 5 hours of sleep each night. I'm exhausted, and now it's time to go teach my dance class. Hopefully I don't pass out, especially since last night I was up till 2am mixing a new CD for the class, and it would kind of suck if I didn't get to hear it once all the way through before I die.
In other news, I haven't had a day off of work since last Monday, and I've averaged something like 5 hours of sleep each night. I'm exhausted, and now it's time to go teach my dance class. Hopefully I don't pass out, especially since last night I was up till 2am mixing a new CD for the class, and it would kind of suck if I didn't get to hear it once all the way through before I die.
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