My friend is on this insane "Seven Day Slim-Down Diet" that involves eating nothing but egg whites, baby rice, chicken breasts, and spinach, every day for seven days. 6 egg whites in the morning, with a cup of baby rice? Get out of here, that's not breakfast. What it IS, though, is an antidote to a healthy appetite. I'd sooner eat my hand than that tripe. She's done it before, and it really does work, but...why?
I'm going to start a radical new diet plan that will take the world by storm -- it's called the "Don't be a Fat-Ass Diet". Basically it involves not eating stuff that's bad for you, like Oreos and ice cream and beer, and getting up off the couch every once in a while, for a reason other than to get more Oreos, ice cream, and beer.
Call me crazy, but I think it just might work.
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3 comments:
Does your diet involve coming home from the bar and dominating a box of cereal? Because I saw that diet in action already.
I notice that you conveniently leave out some very important facts: that was organic, whole-wheat cereal!
Mmmmm, cereal...
I also downplayed the word "dominating". Perhaps I should have said, "opening up a box of organic, whole-wheat cereal and turning it upside down above your mouth".
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