I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha

On Friday at the mall I was nearly attacked. Not in any real, physically-threatening way, but hunted and stalked like prey by two women at one of those "Here, try this expensive hand cream" booths. I wonder what it is about those booth attendents that a) English is almost never their first (or second) language, and b) they have no qualms about haranguing you to the point where you run screaming toward the mall exit.

Maybe it's because I've never been the "sales" type. Making people buy things they don't need just doesn't do it for me. That said, I'll admit that it was always fun trying to sell clearance socks to everyone that approached the register at J.Crew. (And I ask you, who can't use woolen hiking socks in the summer climes of Destin, FL?) But those people were approaching me, their friendly, knowledgable cashier, and it was really more like a game than anything.

These hand-cream women, though, are ruthless! The first time I walked by, creamer #1 approached me with a pleading, "Ma'am? Ma'am?" that I cut short by fishing my phone out of the bag and pretending to answer. Like a vampire to garlic, she shrunk away; it was like a mall version of King's Quest (but the later, well-animated ones).

On my way back, 5 minutes later, I pulled the phone out again, holding it to my ear. I breathed a sigh of relief, noticing that creamer #1 was already applying peach-scented lotion to the hands of a poor soul who visibly did not want to be bothered. Creamer #2 was lurking around the corner, but I confidently continued my walk. "Ma'am? MA'AM? she yelled out, walking right up into my face.

What nerve this woman had, addressing me while I was pretending to ignore her!! I held up a cautionary, poorly hydrated hand and continued to walk.

In what other industry, if not the mall-kiosk business, is it suitable for people to walk up to you and harass you to buy their products? Even prostitutes and strippers aren't that pushy.