Just push play

If you're living under a rock and somehow haven't seen "The Office" yet, STOP EVERYTHING and go set up your VCR/TiVo/TiFaux right now.

Yes, I know it's never going to be the same as the British version, but it's hilarious in its own right. I sort of admire the fact that it doesn't try to be a carbon-copy of its ancestor and has branched out with its own unique story lines and character sketches. Even the snobbiest of BBCA advocates will admit, this show is great TV.

This is "Office Space" on steriods. It is also 100% taken from my real life. I work with an "Angela", the Bible-beater whose favorite color is probably grey. Where I come from, though, our "Angela" is male, married but completely asexual, and irritatingly good at everything he does. Maybe that's what happens when you've got God on second-string?

We've got a "Ryan, the temp". Well, had. I actually dated him for about 1.5 years, till he moved onward and upward, surpassing the aspirations of mere mortals such as ourselves. I'm sure he looks back on his days here thinking, wow...what a complete waste of my time.

What we have that "The Office" doesn't:
- an otherwise brilliant guy whose daily ritual includes loudly clipping his fingernails at 8am,
- a weasely buyer who thinks the best points are substantiated by shouting, and
- an over-sexed, wholly unattractive admin who unabashedly flirts with (married) supervision.
We also have an assortment of geeks, she-males, and a number of other people who, together, form the benchmark of social ineptitude.

I think my favorite office story has to be the one about "Alvin," from around my first month or two here. My lead's wife had been hospitalized suddenly because she was experiencing internal bleeding. Some days later, our lead came back to work, and our cube, which I shared with him and another teammate, was inundated with folks asking about her progress. Alvin stopped in, and was noticably confused as my lead described what was really wrong with his wife - some kind of ruptured organ, as I recall. A puzzled expression on his face, Alvin said, "Oh, see, when you said internal bleeding, I was thinking something else." My lead said, "Well, we were very fortunate that it was able to be caught early enough." Alvin continued: "Yeah, I mean, when you said internal bleeding, I thought you meant bleeding...from the vagina."

I can't make this stuff up, people.